I remember back when I was in middle school and even high school when I could turn on my TV and watch a normal NBA game with one or two big name players. Each of these teams had an identity and you knew that you would have 4 quarters of enjoyable basketball. Fast forward to today’s NBA and you have the Golden State Scumbags with a starting lineup of four All-Stars including two MVP’s in their prime. These jokes are prancing around, kicking people in the dick, celebrating their shots before they go in and are just an absolute eyesore to watch succeed. The ringleader of this freak show, Steph Curry who weighs 120 pounds on a good day and looks like an evil baby with a shitty beard has the nerve to take a fake dump on the court in front of LeBron. I’m sorry but wasn’t that the same guy who made you get Kevin Durant in the first place? Oh 73 wins and a 3-1 lead isn’t good enough? Here take the 2nd best player in the league and probably top 15 of all time that should be good enough.
It’s not even that I hate the Warriors because of what happened this year. I hate the Warriors because now basically it splits up the league into three or four tiers.
1) The Finals: (Cavaliers, Warriors)
Everyone knows that the Cavs are going to end up getting some other piece whether it be Paul George, Gordon Hayward, Melo or some other caliber player. When you add the fact that the Eastern Conference besides the Cavaliers, is no better than the ACC Division in college it makes for a very easy path to the Finals for Cleveland regardless of who they land. For the Warriors, who knows? I am writing this article at 8 PM on Thursday, June 29th. By the time this gets uploaded they may have 5 All-Stars on their team and even if they don’t, they still are the clear cut favorite even with teams like Houston, San Antonio, and the Timberwolves generating buzz. Unless Lebron, Steph Curry or KD pulls a Kevin Ware and obliterates their knee, we’re going to see a Finals rematch.
2. The False Hope Teams: (Celtics, Rockets, Spurs, Timberwolves)
These are the teams that I genuinely feel bad for. These are your one-superstar-away type teams or teams that have had a great offseason so far and are creating a lot of publicity from fans and the media. Unfortunately these teams will spend all of this time and money just to make the conference finals and that’s just the sad reality of it. To be fair to Danny Ainge, maybe the reason he is stockpiling every pick until 2035 is because he knows that there’s nothing he can do with LeBron and the Cavaliers still around. Or maybe it’s just the fact that you can’t be on the losing end of a deal if nobody knows who the pick will even become yet. Either way the Celtics and the rest of the Eastern Conference will have to wait until LeBron calls it quits. On the other side of the country you see teams like the Rockets and Timberwolves now with great foundations for their franchise. I actually hate the move by the Rockets to grab Chris Paul due to the fact of how similar the two run an offense. You would think that Rockets GM Daryl Morey being the “Moneyball” dork that he is would realize that Paul and Harden combined last season for what would be the highest usage percentage of all time by a considerable amount when he pulled the trigger on the trade. Not to mention getting rid of Patrick Beverley after coming off of a First Team All-NBA season? Dumb trade all around. The Timberwolves are a very interesting team and I think they can make some noise maybe one or two years from now but they are still way to inexperienced and will need some time to learn how to play together. As for the Spurs, they did nothing to improve so far since the season ended, Popovich’s coaching can only get them as good as second place and Kawhi being the beast that he is cannot take down the Warriors by himself, only LeBron can do that.
3. Everyone else
As for the rest of the league, I think they are caught in an awkward window where they know that they cannot beat the Warriors or Cavaliers but still need fans to attend their games. Therefore, they cannot completely go into tank mode unless they want to become the next 76ers. However, in this sea of mediocre/subpar organizations there is some hope. I think the Lakers, Bucks and 76ers all are very good young teams with exciting talent around them. When the Warriors and Cavs dynasties eventually die out I think these will all be very relevant teams in the post season and I am very excited to see what happens with them in the future. Until then we’ll just have to get used to a Warriors-Cavaliers Finals every year until (hopefully) LeBron packs his bags and heads to the Lakers and at that point the East should just become part of the D-League.
4. The Untouchables (Knicks. Nets)
These are your bottom-of-the-barrels, your last sip of the beers, your downright shit stains of the NBA. Conveniently located in the Mecca of basketball, these organizations have are especially fucked in that the best fans in the league have to witness the utter fuckery year in and year out by their front-offices. This began back in 2013 when former Nets GM Billy King decided it would be a good deal to basically give the Celtics a future dynasty by shipping off 3 future first round picks in exchange for a washed up KG, Paul Pierce, and Jason Terry. After seeing this, Knicks owner James Dolan thought to himself: How can I top that act? Well he responded by bringing in Phil Jackson and refusing to fire him until now. On top of that he pulled the asshat move of the year with the shit he pulled with Charles Oakley. Not only did Dolan have the Knicks legend removed from the arena but he refused to meet with him after despite numerous attempts from Oakley to set up a meeting and talk it out like men. This guy’s a total joke and the only reason he is still relevant is because he finally accomplished one good thing in his hoax of a career which was hiring Phil Jackson. Maybe this is a sign of good things to come for New York but if there’s one thing New York basketball has done since 1973, it’s disappoint.